Seen on the 'Net


11.30.05 | 5 Comments

I generally hate memes, but this one is kinda fun. Found it over on LJ (where else?) from CartoonLad. If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don’t speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want – good or bad – BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you’re finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON’T ACTUALLY remember about you. Heh heh.

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Comment by Martin
2005-11-30 15:29:49

Do you remember that time when you, Jason, Kyle, and I went to that air show at Bergstrom?

So, you, Jason, Kyle, and I went to an air show at Bergstrom. Everything was going well until Jason decided we needed to go check out the planes. When we got there, Jason started asking one of the Air Force pilots how often they got to pull high-G turns and other weird questions Jason is wont to ask people. Well, you, I mean, you never actually pull crap like this, but, I expect it from Jason, or Mark, or Kyle (before he went to law school), but you, for some reason you felt possessed (of course, that was shortly after you met Tammie so who knows…)

Anyway, so basically called the Air Force pilot on some shit and he didn’t like it. So, he calls his buddies over, they conference, and they tell us to come back in a few hours…after everybody’s gone home.

Well, Kyle and Jason, and I for that matter, weren’t having anything to do with letting you back down now. Like some stupid jockey’s going to out do us or anything. Not that you needed us, your testosterone was still pumping pretty high.

So, about 6:30, we get back. This pilot had decided he was going to take you up in his (yeah, he was possessive like that) F-15. Man we were jealous. They took you in and put you in a flight-suit and marched you out to the plane.

Anyway, you were gone about 2 hours. We almost left you there, in fact, we were about to leave when you came stumbling back. All green and smelly (we just had to have Taco Bell for lunch didn’t we?). Man, I can smell that crap now. Well, you’d had your fill of testosterone at that point. In fact, wasn’t that the last time you saw Tammie?

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Comment by Jason Chapman
2005-12-01 21:09:35

Well, Martin’s memory is hard to beat, but I’ll try…

Preston and I are in Paris, France setting at a little pâtisserie, eating éclairs and drinking café a lait when Preston’s favorite band (New Kids on the Block) comes in. Preston gets all flustered…

“Should I ask them for an autograph?”

“Darn, I don’t have a pen!” He try’s to pantomime a pen to the waiter

The waiter replies “Votre ami a-t-il une saisie?” (Is your friend having a seizure?

Trying to keep a strait face, I reply “No, monsieur”

“Jason, quick, how do I say ‘Can I borrow a pen so I can get autographs from my favoriteist band ever, the New Kids on the Block!?!?!?'”

I ask the waiter “Mon nees d’amis pour emprunter un stylo si je peux obtenir des autographes de ces dweebs là-bas?”

“Pourquoi voudrait-il des autographes du fucktards dans les Nouveaux Gosses sur le Bloc?” replies the waiter.

He hands me an ink pen as I shrug.

I start to mention that Preston probably should use a Sharpie instead of an ink pen, but the waiter is looking at Preston and I strangely. He says something to the effect of “…le sperme gargouille les sangsues de pénis…” as he walks off.

I hand Preston the ink pen and he runs over to the ‘New Kids’

I stay at my table finishing my éclair and humming “you’ve go the right stuff”

Damn, now I’ll have that song in my head all day long!

Preston comes back to the table, on cloud nine!

“Man, they are the nicest guys ever! The waiter was *really* rude to us but I don’t know why. Oh! They gave us tickets and back stage passes to their concert tonight at the Place de la Concorde.”

I didn’t want to go, but I knew how much it meant to Preston. “Man, that sounds like fun!”

As we left Preston waved and said “Merci beaucoup!” to the New Kids as we passed the waiter he said “le pénis assoiffé bastages” under his breath.

On the Metro on the way to the concert that night Preston wearing a fedora, gets up and starts singing “Hangin’ Tough”. I get into the act and start walking the subway car holding out a cup. At first there were no ‘donations’, but after telling patrons he would stop singing if they put Euros in the cup. By the time we made it to the next metro stop, I had made over 100 Euros. I never told Preston that…

The venue is packed with prepubescent girls. Preston and I can stand flat footed and see over them. The concert drags on and on and on, but Preston is singing right along. Kinda scary, much like seeing Aggies at a Robert Earl Keen concert, but I digress.

After the concert is over we go back stage. Low and behold, there’s another adult there. A smokin’ hot chick wearing a very tight, knotted in the back, NKOTB sleeveless tee-shirt. Strangely, it matches the one Preston is wearing. As the girl walks closer she says “Preston, is that you?”

Preston nod’s his head up, says “hey babe” then his head slowly goes down, and stops directly on her rack and says “sup?”

She goes, “Oh where are my manners, I’m Echo Johnson”.

(For those of you living under a rock that do not know who Echo Johnson is, she is a Playboy Playmate)

At that point, my tongue refused to work.

Preston steps in, saving me, “Sup, babe”

“Oh Preston, it’s been sooooo long” she purred

I stood there stuttering, as they walked off towards a limo. Leaving me there with the New Kids on the Block.

Life just isn’t fair.

I didn’t see Preston for two days…

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Comment by Jerry
2005-12-02 10:19:28

Preston. What do you have to say for yourself? Speak up dude?

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Comment by Prest0
2005-12-02 11:43:14

At least it had a happy ending. :)

So where’s your “memory”?

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Comment by Jerry
2005-12-05 10:58:28

Well when Rich Redmond and JD Wiker flew down here to discuss your thoughts on Dark Matter certainly comes to mind. I thought it was commendable when you turned down the 10 year million dollar per annum contract because the Pinebox campaign still needs your attention.

Glad they brought the swag mobile too. How many people own three of every game produced by Hasbro?

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